New Moon Coaching for Expat Women

While whipping up a carbonara—a small, comforting ritual of home—I’d been listening to Brené Brown discuss vulnerability through Theodore Roosevelt’s iconic “Man in the Arena” quote.

As most of us know, Roosevelt speaks of the person whose face is “marred by dust and sweat and blood,” the one who actually strives, errs, and comes up short, rather than the critic on the sidelines.

The Expat Arena

I stopped dead in my tracks, parmesan and pancetta forgotten. As an expat, this quote hits differently. Living abroad is, in itself, a daily act of stepping into the arena.

Every time we stumble through a sentence in a new language, misinterpret a social cue and feel that flash of shame, or navigate a complex bureaucracy that makes us feel small, we are in the arena. We are “daring greatly” just by showing up in a life that isn’t always comfortable or familiar.

Embracing the “Stumble”

What struck me most is the idea that failing is not just a possibility—it’s a certainty. In our old lives, we knew the rules. Here, we are bound to “come short again and again.”

Society often pressures us to present a perfect version of our move abroad—the Instagram-ready travel photos and the seamless transition. But Brené reminds us that the real victory isn’t the perfect outcome; it’s the refusal to let the fear of looking foolish stop us.

Comfort in the Chaos

There is something incredibly liberating about legitimizing our errors. If you’ve felt the shame of failure because your transition hasn’t been a straight line to success, take heart. The frustration, the mistakes, and the exhaustion are simply the “dust and sweat” of someone who is actually doing the work.

Success is staying in the arena. Success is trying again tomorrow, even when the critics (sometimes the ones inside our own heads) are loud.

So, keep cooking your comfort food, keep speaking your broken sentences, and keep daring. Your place will never be among the “cold and timid souls”.

When the arena feels particularly bruising, what is your go-to ‘comfort ritual’ that reminds you of who you are and where you come from? Share it in the comments.

Here’s the full quote: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”