New Moon Coaching for Expat Women

Last week, as Thanksgiving traditions unfolded across American homes, a familiar ritual took place: the “round of gratitude.” Before the turkey is carved, guests are often asked to name what they are thankful for—their health, their business, their loved ones. Since 2015, November has even been proclaimed the “Month of Gratitude.”

But for many, especially those of us living between cultures, this custom doesn’t always feel spontaneous.

The Myth of the Self-Made Expat

As expat women, we pride ourselves on our Expat Resilience. We moved our lives across borders, navigated new bureaucracies, and built new networks from scratch. When you’ve achieved your success through “the sweat of your own labor,” a deep reluctance to express gratitude can set in.

You might find yourself asking: “Why should I give thanks for what I obtained through my own commitment and massive effort?” In this light, gratitude can feel like acknowledging that your successes aren’t yours alone, but the result of some external intervention. It can feel like it diminishes your own merit.

Furthermore, how do you practice gratitude when your expat journey hits a rocky patch? When you are sick in a country where you don’t fully speak the language, when you are grieving a loss back home, or when the isolation of a new city feels overwhelming?

The Science of Gratitude

Interestingly, psychology began studying this in the 1990s and found that the benefits of gratitude aren’t about “ignoring” your hard work or your pain. Instead, practicing gratitude mindfully helps reduce the anxiety and stress that often come with the expat life.

It isn’t about giving away the credit for your hard work; it’s about a shift in perspective.

How to Practice Gratitude on Your Own Terms

If you struggle with expressing gratitude, try these approaches:

• Gratitude to Yourself: Instead of thanking an external entity, recognize the characteristics within you that made your achievements possible. Be grateful to yourself for your persistence, your bravery, and your refusal to succumb to adversity.
• The “Micro-Joy” Method: If you are overwhelmed by “bad luck” or culture shock, stop looking for the big things. Focus on the small reliefs: the perfect temperature of your morning tea, a message from a friend, or the way the light hits a street you’re finally starting to recognize.

By reclaiming gratitude as a tool for your own mental well-being rather than a social obligation, you can find a sense of serenity—even when you don’t feel like saying “thank you.”

If you were to write a ‘Thank You’ note to yourself today for everything you’ve overcome in your life, what would it say? Share it in the comments.