New Moon Coaching for Expat Women

Five years have passed since the Boulder shooting. On March 22, 2021, a man entered the South Boulder King Soopers and opened fire, taking ten lives.

For years, that supermarket was the backdrop of my daily life. It was 20 meters from my first art therapy studio and 500 meters from my son’s elementary school. It was a place of “in-betweens”—the quick stop for a snack after school, the slow stroll for Sunday lunch inspiration, the accidental run-in with a neighbor. In the life of an expat, these mundane, familiar spaces are the anchors that finally make a foreign city feel like home.

When the news broke, I was glued to the screen, my mind trapped in a frantic cycle of morbid scenarios and desperate text messages. Then came the photos of the victims. I saw the faces of people I had exchanged distracted words with about the weather—the twenty-year-old cashier, the quiet bagger, the barista.

The Psychology of the “Mental Scan”

Nothing prepares you for the sense of unreality that follows such a shock. As a coach, I know how important is a safe container that we try to build for our lives. When that container is breached, even a simple task like grocery shopping changes.

For months afterward, shopping was no longer about the freshest vegetables. It became a tactical mission: scanning customers, timing movements, and living with a persistent, low-grade terror. This hyper-vigilance is a heavy weight to carry, especially when you are already navigating the otherness of living in a different country.

From Trauma to Reclaimed Presence

A traumatized community needs more than just time; it needs closure and collective action, seeing justice done and a legislative change in matter of assault weapons and mental health access.

But on a personal level, the journey is about moving from “surviving” a space to “existing” in it again. We gather at makeshift memorials not just to mourn, but to prove that our community—and our sense of belonging—cannot be erased by a single, senseless act.

How do you rebuild your sense of “safe harbor” when the familiar spaces in your life feel compromised? If you are struggling to find your footing after a period of transition or collective grief, I invite you to share your experience below and/or to reach out.