In Kate Atkinson’s Life After Life, Ursula Todd lives her life over and over again. A heavy snowfall, a stolen kiss or a split-second decision have the power to change everything. She dies in one version and flourishes in the next, carrying a strange, cellular memory of the paths not taken.
As an expat, I don’t need a supernatural loop to understand this: I have often felt like the moment I boarded that plane and relocated my life, I fractured my own timeline.
The Parallel Selves we Carry
What if every expat carries a version of us that stayed behind?
Have you ever wondered if a different version of you is still walking the familiar streets of your hometown?
You may often wonder: Is she happier? Is she more “whole” than I am here?
The magic of the expat experience is that we actually get to live our “Life After Life” in real-time. Moving to a new country is a rehearsal for a new identity. We shed the expectations of people who have known us since kindergarten and, like Ursula, we get to try again.
Resilience is a Circular Path
Ursula’s strength comes from her ability to keep going, to learn from the ‘darkness’ and find the light in the next iteration. For women in transition, our resilience is built exactly the same way. Every time we navigate a foreign grocery store, make a new friend, or find a sense of home in a strange city, we are rising.
We are not just one story. We are a collection of every version of ourselves we’ve ever been—the one who stayed, the one who left, and the one who is currently soaring.
Reflection for the Week
If you could whisper one piece of advice to the version of you that stayed behind, what would it be? What is the version of your life that you are currently waiting to birth?
Hi! I’m Cristina. As a European woman living in Colorado, I get the struggle of building a meaningful life abroad. I help expat women finding a sense of belonging wherever they are. If you’re curious to learn how I could be of service to you, book a free call clicking the button below.
New Moon Coaching for Expat Women 
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