New Moon Coaching for Expat Women

Writing about my personal struggles as a woman living between two worlds is sometimes difficult because I feel the weight of privilege. It is, without a doubt, a privilege to belong to two different cultural and linguistic realities—regardless of our status, our level of success, or how we experience expat life.

Yet, the fact that it is hard to talk about only amplifies its importance. Holding space for ambivalence is one of the defining traits of the expat journey. So, allow me to speak about that delicate period immediately following the return “home” after visiting our country of origin.

The Weight of Reentry

For many years, my return was marked by a deep, lingering nostalgia. A heavy knot in my throat would accompany me for weeks, making it hard to fully immerse myself in the joyful aspects of my everyday life.

The vast distance between the US and Italy, the financial and logistical demands of travel, and daily commitments meant I couldn’t return to Italy more than once a year. Seeing aging parents and family every ten to twelve months came with agonizing goodbyes—leaving each time with the quiet, aching thought that it might be the last time we see each other.

A friend of mine, who spent several decades moving between the UK and the US, used to retreat into her house for an entire week upon returning. She wouldn’t meet anyone or engage in any activities until that buffer period had passed. Giving ourselves the time to recover is crucial.

When Life Disrupts the Transition

This year, however, my return was marked by a sequence of unexpected events that made taking time to readjust to my Colorado life far more complex, hurtling me forward before I felt ready.

First, while we were away, a pipe burst in an upstairs bathroom, causing substantial damage to our hardwood floors and the ceiling below (we were saved from an even greater disaster thanks to the attentive care of dear friends who checked in on our house periodically). Then, I had to undergo a minor dental procedure. To top it all off, just a week after my departure, my mother was urgently hospitalized in Italy.

Instead of a gentle reentry, I found myself thrust into immediate crisis management—coordinating contractor schedules, insurance claims, and house repairs, all while navigating the sharp anxiety of a health emergency an ocean away. When a parent falls ill right after you leave, the buffer zone evaporates. You are left managing home logistics with one hand while holding a phone with the other, constantly evaluating updates, calculating flight options, and mentally preparing to pack a bag to fly right back.

This double strain—fixing the physical shelter of your adopted home while your heart is consumed by worry for your family of origin—underscores the unique fragility of expat life. It forces us to act decisively even when our emotional reserves are running on empty.

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When life thrusts us into survival mode like this, we realize just how precious our emotional reserves really are. While we can never fully predict or prevent these sudden storms, we can cultivate a gentler landing by how we intentionally anchor ourselves before the journey even begins.

Preparing the Ground Before You Leave

How we experience the return often depends on how we spend our time while visiting:

• Intentional Memory-Making: Capturing moments through photos, keeping a journal during the trip, and being truly present with family and friends.
• Thoughtful Planning: Structuring the visit in advance so you can manage your time well and avoid leaving unresolved matters behind.
• Finding Balance: Creating a healthy equilibrium between necessary errands, things you want to do for yourself, and dedicated time for loved ones.

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Gentle Strategies to Ease the “Post-Vacation Blues”

When you land back in your host country, the contrast can feel jarring. Here are a few practices that can help ease the transition and support your emotional landing:

1. Protect Your Buffer Zone when possible. Avoid diving straight back into high-intensity commitments or an overcrowded schedule the day after you land. Build in a few low-pressure days dedicated solely to unpacking, resting, adjusting to time zone differences, and quietly reclaiming your space.
2. Anchor Yourself in Comforting Local Routines. Reconnect with small, grounding rituals in your host country that bring you peace—whether that’s your favorite local coffee spot, a quiet walk in your neighborhood, or a familiar evening routine. Remind yourself of the life and comfort you’ve built here.
3. Bridge the Distance Through Connection. Stay in gentle touch with home through low-friction ways—a short voice note, a shared photo, or a casual message—rather than abrupt silence or overwhelming long calls. Maintaining a steady, calm thread of connection helps smooth the sense of sudden separation.
4. Plan an Upcoming Visit from Loved Ones. Whenever possible, arrange for friends or family from your origin country to visit you in your host country. Hosting them in your everyday environment works wonders—it bridges the two halves of your life and makes the distance feel far less absolute.

A Gentle Reminder: Whatever steps you take, treat yourself with radical self-kindness. Welcome whatever emotions surface without judgment or shame.

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Final Thoughts

• If you feel uncomfortable talking about something, that is often the exact sign that you need to express it. Find a safe, empathetic ear—a trusted friend, a community member, or a professional who understands.
• Reentry does not look the same for everyone. The intensity I’ve described is deeply shaped by my own family dynamics, aging parents, and years of navigating complex health and caregiving situations from afar. Your experience may carry a very different tone.
• Your feelings will shift over time. Your relationship with both your home country and your adopted home is fluid. It moves along a continuum—from pure joy and lightheartedness to deep nostalgia and grief. Wherever you find yourself on that spectrum today, simply observe it, honor it, and accept it.

There is nothing wrong with feeling whatever you are feeling.

Where do you currently find yourself on this spectrum, and what does the reentry process look like for you? What is one grounding ritual or practice that helps you navigate the transition after visiting your home country? If you feel comfortable, please consider sharing your own experience in the comments below. What you’ve felt or what has helped you might be the exact reassurance another woman needs to hear today to realize she isn’t alone—and that there is nothing wrong with her feelings.