New Moon Coaching for Expat Women

I talk a lot about the importance of having a community around us. While a strong support system is vital for anyone, it is of absolute importance for expat women navigating an entirely new chapter of life abroad.

Ample research in psychology and public health underscores that individuals with a robust community experience significantly better mental health, lower rates of anxiety and depression, increased resilience, and a stronger sense of overall well-being. Having a network isn’t just a comfort; it is a fundamental pillar of our psychological health.

In my home country, I was fortunate to have at least three important community categories I could consistently rely on: my family (comprised of both my extended family and my in-laws), my close friends, and my colleagues and peers in the art therapy and psychotherapy field. These groups formed a rich, multi-layered safety net of emotional and professional support.

When I moved to Colorado, I knew I had to begin rebuilding that safety net immediately. I started building community from day one because I was deeply intentional about the environment I wanted to create—I didn’t want my child to grow up in a nuclear family isolated from a community with meaningful connections.

Building a social circle from scratch as an adult is tough. Doing it in an entirely new country or culture can feel downright daunting. If you are sitting in your new home wondering how to wear off the feeling of loneliness, here is how to navigate the expat experience and build a community that truly feels like home.

Strategies for Building Connections

To build a community, you have to transition from a passive observer of your new city to an active participant.

• Say “Yes” Over and Over: Adopt a “yes” policy. If a coworker invites you to a casual happy hour, go. If a neighbor invites you to a building meeting, attend. You can filter your social calendar later; early on, you need to cast a wide net.
• The Power of the “Third Place”: In sociology, your first place is home, and your second is work. Your “third place” is an anchor of community life—a local café, a specific park bench, a climbing gym, or a neighborhood pub. Go to the same third place at the same time every week. Familiarity breeds comfort, and eventually, casual nods turn into conversations.
• Be Vulnerable About Being New or New-ish: It doesn’t matter if you moved yesterday or a while ago; don’t hide the fact that you are looking to build fresh connections. People naturally respond to authenticity, and letting others know you are actively looking to expand your social circle is incredibly powerful. Simply sharing a genuine, “I’m really trying to put myself out there and meet new people right now,” is one of the most honest and effective conversation starters you can use.

Utilizing Online Platforms

Technology has made the world smaller, and when used correctly, it’s the ultimate expat cheat code. You don’t have to wander the streets hoping to bump into a best friend; you can easily curate your network online before meeting up in person.

• Location-Based Expat & Hobby Groups: Search major social networks and community forums for groups specific to your city or niche interests (e.g., local hiking clubs or neighborhood groups). These digital spaces are filled with people who are in the exact same boat as you and are actively looking to connect.
• Language Exchanges: Virtual tandem apps and local language exchange forums are fantastic resources. You get to practice the local tongue, teach your native language, and meet open-minded people who are already interested in cross-cultural friendships.

Creating and Participating in Community Activities

Don’t just wait to be invited to the party—sometimes you have to host it. If you can’t find the specific community you’re looking for, create it.

• Host a Casual Gathering: Around major holidays (or even just Sunday football games/Eurovision), host a casual potluck for other expats who don’t have family nearby.

• Join Structured Activities: Sign up for an art class, a local sports league, or cooking lessons. Structured activities remove the awkwardness of small talk because you already have a shared focus (the canvas, the ball, or the recipe).

• Volunteer: Volunteering for a local cause you care about—whether it’s an animal shelter, a food bank, or an environmental cleanup—instantly connects you with value-aligned people. It also helps you feel deeply invested in the local community, shifting your perspective from a temporary visitor to a meaningful contributor.

The School Gate Connection: Finding Your Community as a Mom

If you are moving with a small child, your parenting journey is actually one of the most powerful bridges to local connection. Children are natural icebreakers; they don’t carry the social hesitations that we do as adults, and their routine open-ended play can quickly open doors for you, too.

When you have a young child, the opportunities to meet other moms are built into the fabric of daily life. Some of my first and most long-lasting friendships were born during the years my son was in preschool and elementary school. Standing at the school gates, waiting for pickup, or sitting on a bench at a playground creates a shared rhythm with other parents who are navigating the exact same stage of life.

If you have little ones, lean heavily into these spaces:

• Preschool and Elementary Pickups: Don’t rush away right when the bell rings. Use those few minutes of waiting to strike up a casual conversation with the parents around you. A simple, “How is your little one adjusting to the school year?” can easily spark a deeper conversation.
• Playgrounds and Local Parks: Make it a habit to visit the same neighborhood playground at a consistent time. You will quickly start recognizing the same faces. It takes a bit of vulnerability, but suggesting a casual playdate at a local park is a wonderful, low-pressure way to transition a casual playground chat into a real friendship.
• School Committees and Volunteering: Getting involved in the classroom or helping organize a school event instantly embeds you into the local school community. It gives you a shared purpose with other moms, making connection feel incredibly natural.

By showing up consistently in these shared spaces, you aren’t just helping your child build friendships—you are weaving the fabric of your own support system, mom by mom.

Final Thoughts

Building a community abroad doesn’t happen overnight. There will be weekends where you stay in and miss home, and that is completely okay. Cultivating a true sense of belonging takes time. Be patient with yourself, keep putting yourself out there, and remember that your future closest friends are currently out there in your new city, waiting to meet you too.

Now, I’d love to hear from you: If you’ve moved to a new city, where did you find your closest friends, or what step did you take to start building your own community? Share your story and tips in the comments below—you never know who your advice might inspire today!