New Moon Coaching for Expat Women

Have you ever played the game of 100 wishes? It’s a simple yet powerful journaling practice: you write down a list of 100 wishes, starting each line with “I want…”. While the first twenty or thirty come easily, pushing yourself all the way to 100 strips away automatic, surface-level answers and forces you to uncover what truly matters to you (check at the bottom of this post for the complete instructions for the game).

More than just making a dream list, this exercise pushes us to look beneath the surface and gain absolute clarity on what we want to call into our lives.

We often talk about changing our lives in terms of subtraction—cutting out stress, setting boundaries, or stripping away what no longer serves us. But true fulfillment requires a generative act: birthing a life that actively contains what makes us feel whole, alive, and creative.

Rather than focusing solely on what to remove, the real work lies in identifying what we want to call in and intentionally weaving those elements into the reality of our days.

1. Identifying What You Want to Birth (Beyond the Surface)

Before you can make room for new elements, you need clarity on what actually nourishes you versus what you think should make you happy.

• Audit Your Moments of Aliveness: Think back over the past month. When did you feel present, energized, or deeply satisfied? Notice whether it was connected to creative expression, quiet solitude, physical movement, deep conversation, or learning something new.
• Focus on the Feeling State: Instead of asking “What do I want to accomplish?”, ask “How do I want to feel in my body and mind each day?” (e.g., expansive, grounded, playful, connected).
• Look at Your Discontent as Clues: Frustration or envy often highlights a suppressed desire. If you envy someone else’s quiet morning routine or creative output, that envy is simply a signpost pointing toward what your own life is missing.

2. The Distance & Perspective Prism: Stepping Back as a Blank Canvas

Expats are already masters of shifting environments and adapting to new contexts. Whether you have recently moved across the world or are simply navigating a new phase of life, stepping back from your daily default serves as a powerful mirror.

• The Advantage: Having already disrupted your surroundings, you have experienced firsthand how stripping away an old social matrix loosens implicit expectations. You hold a rare, blank-canvas advantage—the proven ability to evaluate your life with fresh eyes and decide which cultural values, habits, and social rhythms you actually want to keep, rather than carrying them by default.
• The Challenge: Whether adapting to a new country or feeling stuck in familiar routines, comfortable defaults and daily logistics can easily hijack your focus. It takes deliberate, conscious effort to channel that same adaptive energy into protecting space for what truly nourishes you.

3. Balancing the New with Work and Family

Women often worry that making room for personal change will interfere with work, home management, and relationships—taking away time and energy from resources that already feel stretched thin. However, birthing something new doesn’t require blowing up your existing commitments; it requires shifting from rigid time management to intentional energy management.

• Practicing “Micro-Dosing”: You do not need three free hours to cultivate a creative practice or a sense of peace. Start with 15-minute daily anchors—a quick sketch, ten minutes of quiet coffee, or a short walk without audio—to prove to yourself that your desires hold space in your life.
• Co-Creating with Your Family: Communicate what you are birthing to your partner or children. Frame your personal fulfillment not as a distraction from the family, but as an investment in the emotional climate of the home. A fulfilled individual brings a richer presence to the table.
• Treating Life as a Work in Progress: Just as a painting isn’t completed in a single brushstroke, a fulfilling life is built through continuous, small adjustments. When work or family demands temporarily take center stage, adjust the balance gently without abandoning your personal anchors altogether.

Before moving on with your day, take a quick inventory of your inner climate. You might pick up a pen for the 100 wishes exercise*, or simply take three deep breaths to listen to what is asking for your attention. For a fast, intuitive check-in, try the One-Line Permission Slip:

• Complete this single sentence in your journal or on a sticky note: “Right now, I give myself permission to bring more ________ into my daily routine by ________.”

What is one small element—a feeling, a quiet moment, or a creative outlet—that feels most urgent for you to invite in right now?

*Here is the complete, guide for the 100 Wishes Game:

---

The Objective

To break past automatic, socially conditioned answers, access your authentic desires, and narrow them down to a crystal-clear, daily focus.

What You Need

• A physical journal or notebook
• A pen
• Uninterrupted quiet time

---

Step 1: Write Your Initial 100 Wishes

Write down a list of 100 wishes in your notebook, adhering to these core writing rules:

1. The Mandatory Starter: Every single wish must begin with the words: “I want…”(Io voglio…). This trains your mind to claim desire without hesitation or passive language (avoid “I hope to” or “I would like”).
2. Formulate in the Positive: Focus strictly on what you want to invite in, never what you wish to avoid.
   • Instead of: “I don’t want to feel overwhelmed.”
   • Use: “I want a calm, unhurried daily schedule.”
3. No Dependencies: Focus on your own life and agency. Do not wish for specific actions or choices from other people.
4. No Self-Censorship: Write down whatever comes to mind—big or small, practical or wild, material or spiritual. Do not judge a wish as silly or impossible.
5. No Money as the Wish: Money is a tool, not the desire itself. Write what the money enables rather than currency itself (e.g., write “I want to take my family on a month-long trip” instead of “I want $10,000”).

---

Step 2: The Two-Stage Selection Process

• First Filter (Select 30): Read back through your 100 wishes. Highlight or circle the 30 wishes that resonate most strongly in your body right now. This becomes your Reserve List.
• Final Filter (Select 8): From your list of 30, select the 8 absolute core wishes that feel most urgent, meaningful, or transformative to bring into your life right now. Transcribe these 8 onto a fresh page or card.

---

Step 3: The Daily Practice & Substitution Loop

• Daily Ritual: Every morning or evening, take a quiet moment to read aloud or meditate on your 8 core wishes. Repeating them daily keeps your subconscious attuned to your genuine intentions and primes you to recognize hidden opportunities.
• The Substitution Rule: When one of your 8 core wishes is granted (or if you naturally outgrow it), cross it off your core list. Return to your Reserve List of 30, choose a new wish to take its place, and bring your active focus back up to 8.